Newly of a 10-year relationship, I became really naive about
hookup society
and sex in general. Searching right back, We see
many red flags
in the guy I dated for 5 months after my personal divorce. Here are the symptoms we skipped that I became internet dating a closet sex addict.

1. 
   The guy desired to have sexual intercourse constantly.
   
   We had been having sexual intercourse at the very least four times just about every day. At first I didn’t realize it had been weird; I’d already been married for a while before I dated him and so I didn’t know very well what was a “normal” amount of gender. Whenever I was married, typical was once a month, so when I started dating this person, i recently believed he was really, really interested in myself. After all, I
   
   am
   
   rather awesome.
2. 
   He was sorely shy.
   
   I understand this won’t appear to be it meets, but he met all their girlfriends on the internet, therefore I assumed he’d never really had a one-night stand. I really could never visualize him obtaining a lady in a bar. Works out, the guy found everybody on Craigslist, Tinder, or other hookup applications. Now I’m perhaps not stating all bashful guys tend to be closet sex addicts, but we
   
   am
   
   saying that becoming shy does not tip it.
3. 
   The guy adored women in all shapes and sizes.
   
   In a fantastic world, all males would not love any female’s flaws. The truth is, most of us have dated men who had their own preferences and dislikes. He’d nothing. At first I thought it had been empowering; the guy did actually
   accept myself in my situation
   . He would explain females the guy found appealing, plus they varied from rail-thin to obese, golden-haired to black colored locks, pale skin to dark epidermis. I never once thought terrible about any element of my human body and he never helped me feel unattractive, but afterwards, I had to question: who is actually attracted to
   
   everybody
   
   ?
4. 
   He had some odd sexual experiences within his last.
   
   Who am we to guage if he performed several things that i’dnot have? Don’t all of us have a past? Initially I happened to be thrilled to possess discovered someone very available. I purposefully did not react when he informed me concerning the time the guy came across a meeting gay guys on craigslist to-be regarding the obtaining conclusion of a glory opening. (it was not homosexual, the guy explained, since he couldn’t see the guy. He viewed straight pornography whilst man performed oral on him from behind some cardboard.) Then there is the full time he took part in a threesome, additionally the time a woman came to his work so he could fist the girl. I need to admit I liked listening to their stories, but I became beginning to fret that situations he had done in their past could be things he’d desire once more in the future.
5. 
   He saw pornography… a great deal.
   
   From the our very first discussion about pornography. He was really shocked to hear that I didn’t have trouble with it. How may I influence which he wasn’t permitted to view porno? That could mean
   
   I
   
   wasn’t permitted to enjoy it, and
   I liked porno
   . Unless it prevented him from wanting to end up being intimate with me, I didn’t see a challenge. It never became an issue; he usually nonetheless wanted sex. It wasn’t until soon after we separated that he admitted it had been interfering with him acquiring his work done throughout the day.
6. 
   The guy owned his very own business.
   
   Should you consistently have to view pornography, wank, swipe on Tinder, or organize craigslist hookups, exactly what better position to own than to being your own personal manager? The guy could keep many times throughout the day without any individual knowing—including myself.
7. 
   He would never tell me his “number.”
   
   I didn’t ask downright but we joked about it. The guy told me however never ever let me know their wide variety. I included right up their past girlfriends and guessed that quantity. The guy chuckled and informed me, “most likely a lot more.” We realized he’d dated much more girls than I’d read about. I never thought he’d connected with so many haphazard individuals.
8. 
   He was really, good at intercourse.
   
   I thought it had been because we were thus in beat psychologically. He paid attention to my cues during sex like no other man ever endured. Whilst turns out, he would simply had most rehearse. Although I couldn’t stick to him after I realized he was cheating (because of so many others!), we’ll never forget him once the most useful sex I ever had.